Reviewing Scary Dead Things by Rick Gualtieri

5/5

Usually transitional books are one of my least favorite things. What I mean by a transitional book is that it is in place to set up the rest. Many story lines that will feature bigger later are introduced without a lot of resolution. The reason I typically despise these types of novels is because it feels like a setup the entire time. You know there will be a sequel so you see the first sign of continued storylines and you begin to cringe.

Didn’t happen once in this novel, and I saw myself being setup early. When I was 42% of this novel wondering where the heck it was going, but enjoying the ride so much it took me getting that far before I considered what had happened, I knew I was in for a Hell of a ride. Gualtieri again takes his humor to another level and I spent most of this book laughing.

Now, I can handle crude humor and the constant references to sex, blood and gore, a lack of humanity, and a general lack of maturity from Bill’s friends. I’m perverse, this stuff is amazingly insane and fluid and I want more of it. Do I admit not everyone I know would enjoy this novel? Absolutely. This novel, the sequel to Bill The Vampire, is written for nerd boys, or geeks, who wish they were getting laid and hope for something better. This novel is written for those who understand the argument between which sword in Lord of the Rings was better. This novel is written for those who get the reference about Japanese culture and a hint at tentacles making an appearance. If you understand these references, or it makes you chuckle just thinking about it, this absolutely is the novel for you. Bill is still a nerd, he’s still falling on his ass when it comes to women, but hey, at least he’s a vampire. Right?

Sally, Bill’s vampire “assistant” grows on me much more in this novel and even he felt less of a reason to call her a bitch. Ed grows as a character and Sheila and James both return in interesting capacities. This novel also introduces Gan, who I’m rooting for in so many ways. I won’t explain too much about Gan because it really would be a spoiler, but I sure hope to see more of her later.

Reasons to Read:

– Hilarious

– You’re a nerd/geek

– You like a lot of talk about sex

– It’s by Rick Gualtieri

– I like vampires

Reasons Not to Read:

– Most of this blog sounded like gibberish to you. You’re not a nerd. You don’t get it.

– You have no sense of humor

– You’re a prude

– You have a personal vendetta with Gualtieri from 20 years ago and you have vowed revenge and you are secretly trying to sabotage his publication experience by telling people not to buy his novels and thus taking away his livelihood all while you laugh from the sidelines and publish your similar novel that somehow is even geekier but no one is buying because you are just another evil mastermind in a world of evil mastermind’s and you would have been better off taking a totally different approach because this is all pretty contrived and I can’t believe you are still reading this.