Orbiting the WWE Universe: Smackdown 2/17/12

Thanks to author and musician, Shawn Decker, of Synthetic Division, and myself, President of the Scott Stanford Fan Club, we convinced a poor woman to watch WWE for the first time.  Wanda, hearing us talk of WWE shows on twitter and filling her timeline decided to venture in.  Will she decide to land in the WWE Universe or continue to orbit?  A newbie’s take on what we adore!

Match-up 1 Big Show / The Great Khali vs Cody Rhodes / Wade Barrett (Tag team)

  • Big Show – what is with the beanie and geez he bitch slapped his tag team partner, that’s not cool. Oh and serious anger management issues too slapping Mark Henry.
  • The Great Khali – has he had chin implants, you could eat your dinner off his chin or maybe even land a plane on it and why is he hiding his legs in the red baggy trousers, perhaps he is not as manly (as in endowed) as his opponents
  • Cody Rhodes, pocket dynamo and handsome
  • Wade Barrett – slick, his hair that is. How much hair product does this guy use? My guess he is endorsed by Loreal, because he is worth it 
Match-up 2 – Ted DeBiase vs Hunico
  • Ted DeBiase – wrist injury, who cares. Nice propeller flick of Hunico. Gotta wonder though about that wrist, he was wearing what look liked a ten pin bowling wrist strap so was he really protecting his injury or was he going bowling straight after his match (or did he come from bowling immediately before his smackdown match)?
  • Hunico – entry via a girly bicycle and another one “hiding” something in his long pants. Even though he won, there is something about him I don’t like. Think it might be wrestling in his church best trousers that did it. Is he trying to convey an image that is more angelic than he is?
Match-up 3 The Usos vs Epico / Primo (Tag Team)
  • The Usos – imitation maori’s and heavily oiled bodies. Synchronized smackdown, all that’s missing is the frilly head wear (like the synchronized swimmers wear) 
  • Epico & Primo – who the heck is the pussycat cat dolls lookalike that is with them? Oh and they are wearing nice full length Lycra pants. Ok, she isn’t a pussycat dolls lookalike, I can’t understand a word she is screaming
 
Match-up 4 – Daniel Bryan vs The Great White Sheamus
  • Daniel Bryan – is he a miniature Sheamus? Ok, he really shouldn’t speak.  He caresses his World Champ Belt like he has a tummy ache. Winner due to forfeit of Randy Orton, hmmm, I don’t think so.
  • Ok, so didn’t pick that The Great White Sheamus was going to appear. Sheamus vs mini me Sheamus, wow Sheamus sure is white, wonder if he needs vitamin d supplements (not that there is anything wrong with that as I take them and live in a very sunny country). Oh look, Daniel picked up his belt and wanted to go home. Come on Beaker, get up, don’t let this wanna be win. Spitting, how is that WWE and then Sheamus gets disqualified after being “egged” on by Daniel. Not fair, favoritism that what this is.
Match-up 5 – Jinder Mahal vs Ezekiel Jackson
  • Jinder Mahal – um does he wear the crown jewels or something expensive in his turban? Why does he get to place in a perspex container? I don’t get it, if it is that precious then leave it at home buddy.
  • Ezekiel Jackson – he is a happy man and omg, what muscles he has but what good were they against the tall turban.
  
When it was announced that the Divas were up next I was very tempted to fast forward past them, but then I thought, hang on, this is no longer a man’s sport with equality and all so lets give it a go.
 
  
Match-up 6 – Tamina Snuka / Alicia Fox  vs Beth Phoenix / Natalya
  • Tamina Snuka – Super Fly Slammer
  • Alicia Fox – Scream like a Banshee
  • Beth Phoenix – Xena, pink Warrior Princess
  • Natalya – She Woman who just looks plain manic
Enough said about the Diva’s – I just couldn’t get into them, perhaps I just prefer the manly match-ups or maybe this just wasn’t a great example of Diva WWE 
  
 
Match-up 7 – Elimination Chamber Wildcard Challenge
So many wrestlers in the ring for the Elimination Chamber Wildcard Challenge but in the end it comes down to Santino vs Otunga with Santino and his green cobra winning. Even I found it hard to believe that he won against all the other non underdogs…
Post view summary
After 2 hours of Smackdown viewing (less ad’s, RAW recaps – thanks Solace for the head’s up) I have come to this conclusion:
  • I spend far too much time looking at what they are wearing (I do care about fashion) than the actual wrestling. I personally don’t see anything wrong with that at all though.
  • I seem to have a passion for Sheamus and Ezekiel Jackson, I like these guys, they are “real” wrestlers.
  • I missed Brodus Clay aka The Funkasaurus, I need to move on I guess if he is not coming back anytime in the future.
Will I watch WWE again, yes I will.
Why will I watch it again, because I will admit I did get a chuckle from some of the antics during Smackdown. Not sure if I was supposed to but I did anyway.
Another reason why I will watch it again, I might then understand the tweets from you two a little better. It’s not going to help though being over the other side of the world and viewing WWE perhaps a week or so after it has aired in the U.S. But at least I might have some idea of who you guys are talking about.
By: Wanda, AKA @wvawser
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Posted on February 22, 2012, in February 2012, WWE and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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