Bill the Vampire by Rick Gualtieri

Bill The Vampire by Rick Gualtieri

5 of 5

Meet Bill. He’s a bit of a geek. More than a bit. All right, he’s a total geek who plays World of Warcraft and works for a company where he makes games and is the roommate of two equal geeks. This is a man who probably should have questioned a hot woman speaking to him, and he did. But as all men do, he let his hormones take over, and as with many men, that is what gets him into trouble.

Plot: This is not the story of that sexy vampire falling in love with a human girl. This is not a terror-striking horror novel. This is not even a story about a particularly attractive man. This is the story of Bill, who was turned into a vampire and meant to be killed that very same night. Instead he showed enough gumption that because of one vampire’s interference he is kept around, much to the dislike of the leader of the coven, Night Razor. The main focus is on Bill trying to stay alive in a world of vampires while being the weakest and most impractical around. Bill pretty much wants to continue his life the way it was and barely realizes his full potential.

Characters: The main characters you need to know in this novel are Bill, Sally, Night Razor, James, Tom, and Ed. These characters are written to be a little more realistic in their intentions and attitudes. Night Razor, for being a male-model looking bully, is not a complete moron and has a brain in his head. James, as the alpha vampire of the story, is just as dastardly as any other vampire, but gains our love because of his attachment to Bill. Bill, the geek, does not immediately become something he is not because he changed over to vampire, letting you know that if a vampire is mean or cruel it was their basic human nature. Sally is a true bitch and alpha female who despite looking like a stripper seems to be the smartest one of the group. Tom and Ed, Bill’s roommates, round out the cast and make interesting companions. Each character is unique and not a complete characterization of their outlook on life.

This is not a novel to take seriously. Despite the real characters and the genuine feel of it this is still a novel meant for humor above all else. For the first half of the novel I could barely stop laughing. Bill often adds his thoughts on what a person is thinking into the narrative and while I have seen some complain about this breaking up the flow of the conversations I found this added to the every day conversation.

Four reasons to read this novel?

4. Hilarity

3. Raunchy and Crude without any sex

2. Realistic writing style from a realistic voice

1. No one sparkles

Reason not to read it?

You don’t like funny.

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Posted on February 10, 2012, in Book Reviews, February 2012 and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. This review alone had me laughing, especially the “no sparkles” and “don’t like humor” bits. This sounds like exactly my kind of book, which I’ll be adding to my GoodReads list momentarily. Thanks for the recommend! 🙂

  2. Thank you for the awesome review, Solace! I can’t tell you how pleased I am that you enjoyed it. It’s comments like yours that keep me in this game. Hmm, guess I should stop procrastinating and start writing book 3 now. 🙂

    Oh and many thanks to you as well, Deborah!

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