Commentating Dream Team/Y U NO USE STANFORD RIGHT

Anyone who talks to me knows that I am a huge fan of the commentating in WWE. Why? Because the commentating can make or break a match. Cole often breaks them. Stanford often makes them. No one ever agrees on their dream teams so I figured a few of my usual smattering would discuss who they want to see.

I pride myself being of a short-term memory, so I will stick within the company of current commentators. This gives me the option of Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Josh Mathews, Jack Korpela, Booker T, William Regal, and Scott Stanford.

Well we know number one is Scott Stanford. Second would be Matt Striker. If I can pick a third I think I would sprinkle in William Regal. And all of them would commentate for Raw.

I choose Raw as their seat of power for one reason: these three men are the ones who put the superstars over. They tell the audience what is great, or faulty, with the superstars in the ring. Regal and his barbs are biting yet said in such a hushed tone that instead of sounding angry as he insults the superstar for the fifty-third time in an episode he just says a few words that are enough. If a few words and a hushed tone is all it takes to sell that the wrestler in the ring is a heel and deserves to be booed, why go over the top?

Matt Striker, to me, is a commentator who makes excellent calls of what is going on in the ring, I know because I have learned more from Striker over the years than most other commentators calling a move. He also is the best at transitioning between heel and face and advertisement. Striker will talk about the match then announce the next PPV in the same breath and no one really notices that he’s stopped talking about the match.

Of course saving the best for last is Scott Stanford. While Scott Stanford has proven he can talk to the audience about anyone and they pay attention, here he has his time to really shine. His goofy comments about a face will fit in perfectly and it would make him the loudest man at the commentary table, and he does it without screaming.

The Raw show needs three commentators who will make the wrestlers look better because despite being their main show and the one people watch it has the poorest structure for matches. If a superstar has three minutes to put on a match they deserve to have someone who will call this match like it should be called and give the superstars the attention they deserve.

My dream commentary team would be:
Matt Striker – I don’t care what people think of him, I think he’s ace. He actually talks about the match, puts over the wrestlers and doesn’t take himself too seriously.

CM Punk – Who can say they didn’t enjoy his commentary stint at the start of the year? It was absolutely hilarious!

As for the third, it’s a bit harder…
I enjoyed JBL on commentary, he just heeled on the wrestlers he didn’t like in real life and bigged up the ones he did. Mick Foley was good on commentary even if he didn’t particularly enjoy it. Wade Barrett is amazing on the mic and great in commentary on the odd occasion he joins the table, he also commentated for FCW when injured and I thought he was amazing. Kelly Kelly because I’m a male. No need for a microphone, she can just sit there.

(I also put into debate Scott Stanford) I’m not entirely sure what it is about Scott Stanford that makes me like him so much but he just has this kind of way of doing things, he always brings a smile to your face, whether it’s his jokes or his one-liners. He also actually commentates on the match and it’s always interesting listening to him. The ‘I was talking to X earlier’ stuff is always a joy to hear because it shows he actually cares and has thought about it enough to make up the fact that he was talking to X earlier! Although the things he says X said are often what they probably would say!

However I think I’ll plump for William Regal is also amazing on commentary, unbelievably hilarious and very relevant.

Between Striker, Punk and Regal you’ve got 3 guys who have been there and done it at various levels and various degrees of notoriety. Striker’s career essentially went nowhere, even though I thought he was a solid wrestler and played his heel gimmick well. Regal has to be near the top, or top, of anyone’s list of greatest wrestlers never to be World Champ. I’d put Perfect, Owen Hart and Ultimo Dragon up there with him (off the top of my head). CM Punk’s career has been a mixture of the previous two and then super-stardom.

Also you’ve got 3 guys who are funny, keep it relevant and don’t pretend they weren’t one of the dirtiest heels in the business (I like King, but he was 100x better as a heel IMO).

As for which show I’d put them on, I’m not sure. In fact, I’m not sure I’d even care all that much because they’d make whatever show they were on better IMO… So I’ll go for the BBC News!

There are only four commentators in the WWE I believe even try to actually put over talent these days. If someone is unwilling or unable to promote the actual talent in a positive way, I don’t want that person doing commentary. Therefore, the four people under any sort of consideration are William Regal, Matt Striker, Booker T, and Scott Stanford. I listed Scott last in order to build tension. Technically, there would be five, but I’m going to exclude JR who may or may not return to doing commentary at some point. Either way, I have a lot of respect for JR, but I don’t want to see him on Raw every week, so there’s no way he’s making my Dream Commentary Team.

I don’t have a strong opinion about which show the DCT should handle, but for the sake of argument, I’ll say Raw. I tend to prefer Smackdown, but Raw is the “flagship” show. In a world where I get to decide on who does commentary, I am confident that I could fix the other issues I have with Raw. If we’re going with a two man team, give me Stanford and Regal. Stanford’s one of two commentators the WWE has who manages to sound consistently excited about what his happening. Having someone who will be consistently upbeat makes everything more watchable. Besides, Stanford is better spoken and has a better voice than pretty much every other option here. His partner would be William Regal. This is a no brainer, since Regal is brilliant in every way. The only thing that could make me consider going with my next choice (Matt Striker) would be the possibility of giving Regal one last push as an actual in ring competitor. A Stanford/Striker team would be quite glorious in its own right, but I have to give the edge to Regal.

I’d be tempted to toss Booker T into the group as the third man, just for the hilarious Booker-isms that he pulls out so often. He’s also the other guy who is always excited, which is a plus. If I needed a three man team, I couldn’t go wrong with Stanford/Regal/Booker or Stanford/Striker/Booker. Stanford/Regal/Striker might work, but I have the feeling that someone would get lost in the shuffle.


Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon. On any show. Of course, that’s impossible. But that’s my perfect commentary. And since perfection can’t be achieved, I’ll simply deal with what they give us, although I’d love to put a dry cleaning bag over Jerry Lawler’s head with the instructions to “inhale deeply”, because his commentary makes me homicidal. While I like Booker as a performer and can respect him in-ring, I have commented on Twitter, jokingly, but offline, cringe when I turn closed captioning on. (I’m not deaf, lol. I sometimes use it so I don’t turn the TV up too loud so my son can sleep). Some of what Booker says does not translate kindly to CCTV, which makes me wonder exactly wtf the deaf viewers think. Example: Why would an Irishman have a “Bro Kick”? It’s brogue. I know a lot of fault will lie with those transcribing, but sometimes it is difficult to understand his commentary (beyond the quacking and things that just don’t..seem to fit into broadcasting schematics. But maybe it’s me. Again, idk.) I don’t hate Cole as much as I “should”, although I hate that they’ve put him in the ring. With as much talent as the rosters hold, you really don’t need him, nor JR, mixing it up in the ring. So..yeah. Gorilla and The Brain for me. Oh, let me just add one thing on Scott Stanford. Until he’s incorporated into a show and used *properly* on a routine basis, I think that WWE does a disservice to themselves. You’re paying a guy who’s won Emmys. Who the tri-state area knows from NBC. To quote the Y U NO guy:

Posted on November 6, 2011, in November 2011 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Stephanie Carlson

    If we’re going current choices, I like the Stanford, Regal, Booker trio. I think this could totally work. If we’re reaching, I would take Punk. The episodes of SuperStars w/ him and Stanford were classics. As far as wrestling commentary in general, I’d steal Nigel McGuiness from ROH. He’s another guy who’s paid his dues and gives respect to the in ring performers. Sorry for the non-WWE reach but the guy is golden.

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