Superstars did… something different! For that it was already a better show this week than it usually is. There was no Jinder winning with the camel clutch and no needless squash matches considering Superstars is all about the wrestling (though they should take out some of the recaps and put in a fourth match again, really). But, despite doing something different there was still something a little… off with the matches.
4. The Usos vs. Hunico and Camacho
Hunico is the best in-ring guy of the four. I like the Usos, I like their entrance, but they just don’t have it yet for wrestling. Camacho was slopping as Marlow in FCW and though he was part of this “tag team” he didn’t do much of anything and when he did it still seemed like he was back in FCW. The only reason this match made it on the list is 1) I like Hunico and was looking forward to seeing Camacho wrestle and 2) there are only 3 matches.
3. Kelly Kelly vs. Maxine
YAY! Maxine! Against Kelly Kelly, but yay Maxine! Maxine makes Kelly Kelly look good, until she gets that Booty Call in the face. Sigh. But still, did I mention, Maxine? Maxine! Maxine!!!!
2. The Miz vs. Alex Riley
I was going to be down on this match from the start. We’ve seen The Miz vs. Alex Riley. So many times. I was going to rant and whine and… well, then I watched it. Alex Riley shows how far he’s come as Miz and Riley put on a match that was well put together and had no botches. This was actually a great match. Let’s watch it again! “Who’s the Superstar?”
1. Scott Stanford
This is a man who sounds happy to be there and excited to see every match. It’s a shame he only does the Raw portion of the matches. This man is music on the microphone and knows how to call a match. There is no bias, even as Striker tells him he sounds like he really likes the Miz and Scott in turn says, “I don’t really like him, but I like anyone on the show that can help with the ratings and Miz can make that happen.” Scott looks at the full picture every time he’s on Superstars with the matches in front of him.
Matt turns to Scott at one point and says, “I don’t think anyone tunes in to hear you or I…” Sorry, Striker, but you could not be more wrong in that. I tune in every week for that voice of Stanford’s, the matches are my bonus.
Scott’s best lines of Superstars:
“If you look up sexy in the dictionary you’ll see a picture of Blake Lively holding a picture of Maxine.”
“She’s making that call! It’s the booty call!”
“Kelly Kelly coming from behind.”
“When I said coming from behind I didn’t mean literally with that booty call.”
“WWE Superstars is about to become must see.”
“You’ll be able to cut the hatred, my friends, with a Ginsu knife.”
“When it comes to Miz and A-Ry, these guys would rather get a root canal with no Novocaine than lose to the other.”
Scott: “Did you say it’s all Mizness?” Striker: “I did!” Scott: “I gotta write that down.”
Wrestlemania is so jammed pack full of gimmick matches that have little to do with storylines people care about that they left out a glaring error, because they forgot they were supposed to be pushing tag matches again. Epico and Primo hold the tag team titles but who remembers that? It’s not the men’s fault but sadly misused booking. Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins have been used better and they are on NXT.
Speaking of Reks and Hawkins… Oh yes, you knew I would go there.
Solace’s Dream Missing Match
Before the start of the show Reks and Hawkins are up to their usual antics of being bullies and utterly cool while doing so. When they run into Epico and Primo they make fun of them for not having a match even though they are tag champs and for having to be managed by a woman whose only talent is dancing. This is where Regal does his thing and comes in to announce that since there was some time to fill on the card and people want to see their tag team champs he is going to make an impromptu tag match. However, if Reks and Hawkins lose they get to clean the entire arena once everyone leaves with a pro showing them how it’s done. Reks and Hawkins agree on the condition that Regal will do the sweeping instead if they win. Regal agrees because he believes there is no chance that Reks and Hawkins can win.
Epico and Primo put on a great show, and even get a little help from their former stable-buddy Hunico, but they just can’t hold up to Reks and Hawkins. Reks and Hawkins ultimately win the tag titles from Epico and Primo. No, not because I prefer Reks and Hawkins, but because Reks and Hawkins have done more to show what tag teams should be like in the last six months than anyone else has. These men should be the two going around and crushing any and all other tag teams, while helping to build groups who want to take them down.
After the show Reks and Hawkins hand Regal his broom and wish him luck on cleaning. Oh, and they found his pro, the ever handsome Scott Stanford, who is the lone man cleaning the arena corridors. As soon as Reks and Hawkins leave, and Scott starts saying how happy he is to work with Regal and how he could use the help, Regal instantly starts making excuses. His twins need him. His wife found out about Maxine. Etc. Leaving poor Scott to sweep on his own and Regal calculating a better revenge on Reks and Hawkins.
Of course I found a way to incorporate Scott into this. What were you expecting?