Top 4 of Superstars 8/23/12

This week all of Superstars was taped before Smackdown, which gave us a team of Matt Striker and his condescending Cole-isms and Scott Stanford and his love for everyone and ability to let negativity roll off his shoulders. Unfortunately for the show there was too much recapping, with nearly 8 minutes of recaps or ads for things that are airing later in the week. There was 19:38 of actual match time (I count from bell to bell, entrances and conversation are not counted into the match time). Considering the show was 39 minutes long there’s still about 12 minutes I didn’t figure in. Probably more on air ads.

4. Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

A lot of people called this a squash, however I think Tatsu had a pretty good offense for the bit of time he got to show it off. Sandow was going to win, that was clear, and Tatsu’s treatment is absurd in the company, but I’m glad to see him in the ring. He helped make Sandow look even better. Still not the best match of the show, but decent enough.

3. Alex Riley vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew McIntyre comes out looking stylish in the new jacket from last week, but the ending of this match is already predetermined. Superstars is no longer just about good matches and having quick rivalries (believe it or not, just a year ago, it was even if there was no given plot). Superstars is about putting over the guy they are going to push or want to make sure you remember. Unfortunately, it’s not Drew, though Drew looks incredible in the ring. I’m not taking away from Riley, Riley’s come a long way since his ended quick feud with Miz, but I’m ready to see something for McIntyre again. Great match that didn’t flow the way you would have expected it to, which is always a plus.

2. Cody Rhodes vs. Justin Gabriel

Before the match started Gabriel and Rhodes had a sort of smile off. Rhodes wanted to prove that he could get a better smile and crowd reaction and told Gabriel to watch him as he climbed up onto the ropes and did his smile. I love both guys so I was at home just cheering like a fan girl all by my lonesome. Was a sad moment for me, but the match itself made up for it. Great match where the two never truly slow down, which is what I like to see. Ultimately, predictably, Rhodes wins and no one is surprised.

1. Scott Stanford

This week Striker and Stanford took more opposing sides while calling the matches, especially for the first and third match (Scott seems less capable of taking a side when either Riley or McIntyre are out there, more so against one another). It made it interested to see Scott clearly playing the face announcer instead of being enthusiastic about everyone and everything, though he still never truly has a horrible thing to say about anyone, making him the ultimate face announcer. Still, as Striker took repeated barbs at Scott and Striker tried to talk himself up as much as he did the matches (though Striker did give a good reason for Rhodes and Gabriel’s continued feud) Scott is the one I always feel the need to praise. Scott doesn’t seem to be affected by the negativity and in fact pokes fun of himself, making it harder for Striker to continue. Scott gets better every week.

A few of Scott Stanford’s great lines of the week:

“When you look up the term Shot Out of a Cannon you see a picture of A-Ry.”

“What’s wrong with excited and happy? Just look at the guy.”

“Two words we always use to identify Drew McIntyre: Ruthless Aggression.”

“A-Ry, he’s got him done!”

“Talk about explosive! That’s the word I love to explain Riley!”

 

WWE Main Event – Commentary Suggestions

WWE announced last week that they will have a new one hour show on ION. It’s been explained by several people as “Superstars with plot,” and when I said, “So like NXT?” I was told no, this was more runoff from Raw and Smackdown. Well, that explained the wording, since Superstars, especially as of late, is those guys that just can’t get any time on Raw or Smackdown.

Okay, so Superstars, with a plot. Does this mean that they will actually act out the things Scott Stanford is describing weekly during the matches? Oh, so does that mean they are going to do the right thing and use Scott Stanford as the commentator? I’m going to assume they are.

Now, Scott Stanford has proven he really can work with anyone on commentary. He’s had Lawler, Punk, Mathews, and Striker beside him and excelled with every single one. As most people will start chiming in and telling me that Punk is the best, you know a pairing of Punk and Stanford is not happening long term as Punk is a main eventer, and while the show may be called WWE Main Event, it’s not.

But your head might be in the right direction. An hour show could be the perfect time to give those guys, and gals, some talking time. An opportunity to work their chops with a commentator who is open to talk to just about anyone, and knows how to take control when commentary is faltering. Or make a wrestler the third man in a commentary team. Give us Scott Stanford, the very underused Matt Striker, and a wrestler as the third man, even if just during one match. Stanford and Striker work wonders together and no how to keep pace with the match, even when mics are too low and they are meant to be drowned out by sounds of managers, or dancers, screaming on the sidelines.

Why did I not suggest Regal, whom I do adore? Regal and Stanford have a lot in common in commentary, which includes bringing stories to the commentary table and giving you a reason to pay attention to a wrestler. Regal does it in an almost undermining way while Stanford holds to his enthusiasm. Regal and Stanford are excellent in commentary, but you don’t need two men working towards the same goals, and better for Stanford as he brings that enthusiasm to the table every time. You need someone who sounds happy to be there because more often than not in the commentary teams they rarely have that sort of excitement.

Of course, they could put Lombardi with Stanford and it would be my new favorite show of the week.

Who would be your ideal commentary team for the new show? And when I ask ideal I would prefer to hear realistic idealism!

Solace’s Live WWE Raw Experience June 25, 2012 – Fort Wayne, IN

I knew this Raw was going to be good from the start. For once we arrived in plenty of time, which meant cheaper parking. The Allen County War Memorial Coliseum in Fort Wayne, Indiana reminded me of the arena we had gone to in Indianapolis. Not bad prices for parking, spacious so that people could go inside if they wanted to, with horrible seating inside. Oh, the seating arrangements themselves are great, especially the ones we ended up at, but the seats and their cushions, just awful. Still, I like an arena that starts letting people in an hour before hand as opposed to a half an hour, and it’s nice when the lines move fast.

However, we still had to wait for our tickets to arrive at the box office.

While waiting I tweeted Tyler Reks to let him know that Chris would be wearing his MidCard Mafia shirt. Reks said he must see a picture.

I sent the picture of Chris, at the arena, with the shirt on and was tweeted back that Maxine agreed to be Chris’s date for the night. This became a running joke for the rest of the night. (For those who haven’t caught up, Chris is my boyfriend of five years).

So, hey, we already had a good laugh and our tickets ended up arriving at 7:30 on the nose which gave us a lot more time than usual, and we needed it.

We were in section 216 row 6. At the time I had no clue where that was, I was just following the signs. As you can see from the picture, it wasn’t all that far away!

Standing in line to get through the ticket checks (no one checked signs or purses here unlike every other arena I’ve been to) someone was talking about shirts behind me. So his friend says, “All of your shirts have woofs on them.” Woofs? “Are you a werewoof or something.” Oh. You know there is an “L” in there, right? The guy then continued to wonder how anyone could boo Cena, Cena is awesome. Another guy saw our sign we made for Dena, “Striker Appreciation Sign,” and proceeded to tell us the story about he really was a teacher and was fired for all of the sick days he was using for working the wrestling circuit. Not something I didn’t know, but the guy really wanted to seem knowledgeable so we just let him go.

Once we sat down I turned from the stage to look up because I was going to meet Tom for the first time and he said he would meet us at our seats. So I was expecting him to come from above me. Suddenly, at about the same time I hear, “Solace!” “It’s Lombardi.” I turn and standing at the barricade is Steve Lombardi, the Brooklyn Brawler. I’ve never jumped out of my seat so fast in my life as I ran down towards him, not thinking, hello, barricade. And Lombardi, being him, simply climbed it and came over to us. At that time Chris also had to point out to me, “There’s Tom,” and I look, and sure enough, about the same place, is Tom, but he wasn’t going to climb everything, and I couldn’t blame him.

The first words from Lombardi were, “You know Tom?” Yes, I know Tom, or at least would soon! I hugged a man I had practically adored for ten years, at least. If Undertaker was my 80s of wrestling, Lombardi was most of my 90s of wrestling. Even as a teenager I had a huge crush on the man and meeting him gave me sweaty palms. The first thing he said to me really was to thank me for my dedication to the WWE and all of my tweets and blogs. Haha, wow. I had no clue what to say to be honest, I was kind of a grinning mess at this point.

Tom joined us at this point and I was stuck between two people I really admire for their work and here they told me they liked what I did. Yes, yes, I was excited. Tom pretty much copied Lombardi and said, “You know Steve?” Well, no, but yes? I do now! Lombardi explained to Tom that I was the first fan he had ever come out to meet that he didn’t know already. Yup, trying not to be a complete screeching female at this point.

The majority of the first part of the conversation was starring Steve Lombardi. He asked where we lived and I was explaining it to him, so used to people going, “Where?” and forgetting I was talking to someone in the wrestling industry. I said, “Lima, Ohio,” and he said, “Oh, I know where that is. Where Al Snow is from.” Why, yes. I always forget this tidbit myself.

I let Lombardi know that I had once had a huge crush on him, he almost looked surprised. I was surprised by that! I loved this guy! I still do, and maybe a little more now. He asked if I was sure I wanted to say that in front of Chris, but Chris does hear me talking about Scott Stanford. Every day. Chris is used to it, and besides, he was Maxine’s date tonight, not mine. Onward with loving Lombardi!

Lombardi also asked me about his parody account that I’m friends with on twitter. I told him the man absolutely adores him and means no offense by it, he really does want to pay homage to Lombardi, but Lombardi insisted he does not speak like that. “I don’t say, hey yous,” and Tom vouched that this was true. Lombardi does have a definite accent, but it’s a sweet, intelligence to it. Have I mentioned the man has aged beautifully as well? Eh-hem, sorry, but that man is so well built, has a brilliant smile, and just… yeah… excuse me…

Now, where was I? Oh yes, so I was told to definitely tell everyone about meeting him, which wasn’t a problem, I kind of couldn’t get over it myself, still not over it. And to especially rub it into that parody’s face to let him know I met him, but in a teasing way, no worries. No animosity here! This is when he mentioned that he can’t do twitter, he doesn’t have time, and I was tempted to beg him harder than I already was. I would love for Lombardi to be on twitter, and I think a lot of other people would as well. I know quite a few people who every time I say #WeWantLombardi immediately retweet me. Tell Lombardi you want him on twitter! Leave it in the comments, he’ll read it!

Oh, also told him we had a sign for him and he was surprised they didn’t take it from us. I mentioned I’ve never had a sign taken and he did correct me that we did at the one. Yes, we did, that was because of where we were sitting though, we would have blocked the cameras. Boo. The man has a better memory than I do.

This is the sign before we darkened up the lettering on it.

Then he left and it left me, Chris, and Tom. Ah, one man I adore and another who was leaving me for Maxine. Oddly, my conversation with the man you guys probably don’t know is the one I will not give a lot of details on, but I love this man. He’s a genius at what he does and will never take full credit for anything. Humble, handsome, sweet, creative. I’m lucky to know Tom.

We didn’t get a lot of time because then the announcement started about turning off recording devices. We said bye to Tom and went back to our seats. One of the two women in front of us turned and said, “Who was that you were talking to?” I assumed she meant Lombardi and not Tom and said, “That was the Brooklyn Brawler.” She turned to her companion and said, “I knew it was him.” Awww.

No, as usual, I don’t have any pictures or signatures. It was absolutely enough for me to have gotten hugs from two men I think are brilliant.

The dark match was Bray Wyatt vs. Alex Riley (of course). What surprised me is that most of the crowd recognized Bray Wyatt in some capacity, even if not by his new name, and were booing him nearly instantly. This was one of the loudest crowds I have ever been apart of and in general they would cheer or jeer for most people who came out.

Bray Wyatt gave a promo and wrestled a match that was given a decent amount of time. It’s the first match I’ve seen him wrestle since becoming Bray that lasted more than a few minutes and I can now fully stand by that I like Wyatt now. Alex Riley, though, needs a push again. Despite how long it’s been since he was in a big feud the crowd remembers him. He steps out and the crowd was deafening. Of course, for a lot of things last night, the crowd was deafening.

Next was introduction of Josh Mathews and Scott Stanford. WOO!!! SCOTT!!! He was wearing a purple shirt, so this made me extra giddy. At one point they were talking to one of the techs on the side and Mathews and Scott were working in hand signals to him, for some reason I found this completely amusing.

Scott goes through and touches hands with everyone in the front row on the side he goes through. He says hello to as many people as he can on his way to the table and then gets down to business for the first match. The first match is Kofi Kingston vs. Michael McGillicutty. McGillicutty probably had one of the quieter reactions of the night, though at least there were some boos. It was a reaction.

After the match was over and the two superstars cleared out Scott looked for us in the crowd and gave us a smile and a wave. Okay, so I’ll admit, being acknowledged by Scott was not the mark-out moment of the evening, but I still giggled like a school girl!

The next match was Darren Young, accompanied by Titus O’Neil and A.W. vs. Epico, accompanied by Primo and Rosa. How good this match really was I’m not sure because I was distracted by the fact that they allowed A.W. a mic and he added nothing to the match, at all. Plus I wondered how that would work when it came to listening to commentating later, because I want to hear Scott’s voice!

After the match ended the commentators leave. Scott then goes to the other side and while Mathews walks past everyone in a hurry to get out of the arena Scott now says hi to the other side of the arena, smacking hands and giving everyone he can a quick hello.

There was still time before Raw was going to begin. Lillian Garcia sang the National Anthem, and did so beautifully. Though I think this is only the second time I’ve heard it sung since we started our circuit of shows just a little less than a year ago. (This was our ninth show since September of 2011)

You guys have already seen Raw so I might rush through this a bit more now, since this is already much longer than I typically have one of these. The first match, though everyone was cheering wildly for all three men in the ring, and AJ when she came skipping out, was weak in the beginning. I like Punk and I can appreciate Bryan, but they move too slowly to set up their moves and it begins to become obvious to even me where they are missing shots. One kick reminded me of the Show punch to Vince last week. Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but it was obvious to me. Still, was a good show for the three (and fourth when she made her appearance) and for now this angle has me very intrigued.

I was surprised at how loud the crowd was throughout most of it, and then Jack Swagger came out. I was honestly embarrassed for him that there was just no reaction except from about ten people, and I could see them all, Chris and I were included in there and the two women in front of us. I cheered my head off for him, but we knew he would lose to Santino. Entertaining, though!

I give credit to Triple H for keeping his promo short and sweet. I never want to take away what Triple H has done for the company and will do for it in the future, he just has to stop repeating himself when he’s out there and shorten it up a bit. Like this one!

John Cena’s promo was somewhere between horrid and making me chuckle. I have to admit I cracked a smile at some points, then rolled my eyes at others. Especially when he didn’t really have anything to associate more with Laurinaitis at the end. Thank goodness for Chris Jericho! And that jacket! It was odd to see Jericho’s hair grown out a bit, I almost didn’t know how to handle it. It was also one of the first times I thought he looked closer to his actual age, but not in a bad way. Men have this distinguished look where as they get older they are better looking, and Jericho with a style like that only made him more handsome to me. Not sure how much I like the stipulation for the ladder match, not with Cena joining it now, but it could be interesting.

The divas were fun to see, and Chris announced, “I have to cheer for Maxine to win because I can’t have both of my dates mad at me.” I don’t care what anyone says about Vickie, she looked good out there. She may be softer than the other women but she still made her cougar outfit look good. Layla needs to be nice to her, though! Vickie’s still wearing the Cougar necklace that Layla and Michelle McCool had given her!

Did I mention I was laughing my butt off when Show came back and hit Clay again? And again? Yeah, I loved it. But I’m still a Big Show fan. He may not be what he once was, but I still adore him.

After Raw went off the air it was two on one. Tensai and Big Show vs. John Cena. Cena, who was nearly dead, had his kryptonite taken away and revived enough to take down the two men. Afterward, Laurinaitis came out to, “You got fired” chants and had an Attitude Adjustment done to him. I wonder if this is punishment because every time he gets it done to him he doesn’t even look invested in it. It was a quick close-out for Raw and we booked it out of there.

Oh, and Chris did come home with me.

Top 4 of Superstars 6/21/12

No Way Out actually had some pretty decent wrestling, as did Raw this week. I almost thought it was impossible for a show to top that. Then I watched Superstars.

4. Ezekiel Jackson vs. Hunico

All right, if anyone was going to make Jackson look good it was going to be Hunico. While this doesn’t live up to Hunico’s match with Sin Cara on Sunday it was decent and worth the one watch. Nothing special, but not bad.

3. Zack Ryder vs. Drew McIntyre

The main event tonight was incredible. The crowd was going crazy for Ryder and they decided to give him as an opponents Drew McIntyre. Okay, so you knew Drew was losing. Ryder was not losing with this crowd, despite the WWE’s obsession with having men lose in their hometown, there isn’t a man more over in his hometown. The two of them put on a match that has you on the edge of your seat if just to see what they are going to do next. McIntyre makes fun of Ryder’s “LI” hand gesture to the crowd and at one point walks across Ryder’s face. But, Ryder did win and the fans rejoiced.

2. Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel vs. Tyler Reks & Curt Hawkins

The Kings of Change take on my favorite face tag team since, well, quite awhile. Surprisingly the match was a showcase of Reks and Kidd. Reks gets brutal with Kidd and Kidd tries to get brutal right back. I love Kidd’s ability but watching him try to put the very large Reks into a Sharpshooter was a bit funny. Reks also did a move he calls the Guilty Spark to Kidd, which had him putting Kidd over his shoulders and dropping him across the ropes. It’s much cooler than I described. However, at the end of the match Hawkins had to take the pin, but so far this is match of the week. Four incredible talents showing off their skills. Oh, and I can’t forget the brilliant, “Let’s Go Hawkins!” chant that started off the match.

1. Scott Stanford

Speaking of incredible talent, did you hear what he had to say this week? And Josh? What happened to Mathews this week? He seemed to be a whole different commentator who was engaged in conversation and the match and between the two they were not missing a beat. This was the best commentating job from the team since they first teamed up. I hope they both keep the momentum.

Scott Stanford’s best lines of the night:

“What have Reks and Hawkins done in a year of being a tag team? Both Kidd and Gabriel former champions.”

“I was trying to take the temperature, get into the core of what they were feeling.”

“Now Hawkins takes one right in the kisser!”

“The Tag Team division just sizzling right now in the WWE.”

“Hawkins and Reks told me they are still very proud of the People Power Era. They are going to continue to honor the John Laurinaits/Shane Douglas Dynamic Dudes tag team with those 80s neon ring gear.”

“Zack actually recording for Z True Long Island Story backstage just a little bit ago and McIntyre goes by and smacks the camera out of Ryder’s hands.”

“Right where the vertical and horizontal mats meet, right on Zack’s back.”

 

Top 4.5 of No Way Out

Before the PPV started, and I saw Scott Stanford’s face commentating the opening match, I jokingly said, “I’ll do a Top 4 just so I can put Scott as #1.” Scott doesn’t get the #1 spot, but only because some of my favorite in-ring storytelling happened in the ring during this PPV, and none of them were for matches that were originally scheduled.

4. Primo & Epico vs. Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd vs. Prime Time Players vs. The Usos

A match to bring new number one contenders to the tag title as Primo & Epico had their shot slip through their fingers by missing the 30 days. Besides excellent match quality, heightened by Primo, Epico, Kidd, and Gabriel, the entire plot had a good story. AW, surprise, cheated Primo & Epico and went from being incompetent to just being a cheat, which was interesting. He’s better suited for the Prime Time Players, and not because he’s another black guy, but because his character works for two men who see dollar signs. Primo & Epico are on their way to becoming faces, now the question remains if they will take Rosa with them or leave her behind as well.

3. Scott Stanford

I know, I know, it’s Scott, he should be higher, but you guys did not watch the preshow for Scott Stanford. You should have, but you didn’t. You watched to see Otunga lose to Clay (75 of 81 of you predicted correctly on that one). However, out of five commentators throughout the show (counting Striker and not counting the Spanish announce team) Scott was the only one who remained coherent and made a lick of sense. Striker knew when something was coming up and stopped to wait for it, ignoring Scott’s question or lead-in. Cole, Lawler, and Booker T showed shades of that same ridiculous laughing during matches. Sure, the Tuxedo Match was not what the IWC wanted to see, but it’s made worse when the commentators spend more time laughing and making fun of it then trying to pretend we should be interested in it. You’d never hear Scott spend most of his time laughing at a match. No, out of the five, he did the best, and he was saddled with Otunga vs. Clay which was the most predictable match of the night.

2. Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

I know I said that the matches were not ones scheduled, but to me this was not a scheduled match. Ziggler was a fill in, and the fill in everyone was looking forward to. For good reason. Ziggler puts on quite the show in the ring and always has while Sheamus continues to be Sheamus. There were parts during this match I honestly thought Ziggler was winning it all, but we knew it was not going to happen in this particular match. Still, they put on a great show and even though Ziggler lost both men put on an entertaining show.

1.5 Kane and AJ

What can I say? I enjoy twisted romances.

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Hunico vs. Sin Cara

The first time I watched the PPV I missed this match completely. Not because I didn’t want to see it but because doing the predictions takes up a lot of time. Having missed it completely I had to go back and watch it and I wondered how I could have not been paying attention. Hunico and Sin Cara put on the match they should have put on when it was Sin Cara Azul vs. Sin Cara Negro. Sin Cara has returned and is the superstar he should have been the first time he was overpushed and against Hunico who deserved the overpush and never received it. In other words, two incredible wrestlers in an incredible match that… no one really cared about or watched. Still, upon rewatching everything, it was my favorite.

 

Top 4 of Superstars 6/14/12

I’ve noticed lately on Superstars the Raw portion has been consistently using “bigger” names while Smackdown seems to get the “throwaways” or “jobbers.” However, Smackdown usually has the better match. Is this week any different?

4. The Usos vs. Prime Time Players

Though they aren’t introduced as Prime Time Players, I’m sticking with the name Titus O’Neil and Darren Young came up for themselves. This wasn’t a bad match, but calling it a good match might be a stretch as well. The antics of the PTP were fun and Scott gave us little tidbits on Young’s hair and why he had a pick go through it before the match began, but the match itself… Let’s just say both tag teams have done better.

3. Zack Ryder vs. Michael McGillicutty

This certainly wasn’t last week’s match with Jack Swagger. This one was to give the #1 Borski a win back and so they gave it to him against McGillicutty. McGillicutty looks good, as does Ryder, and it was a match that had me cheering (quietly for McGillicutty since I’m Scott’s #1 fan I feel dirty when I don’t cheer for Ryder). However after this match came the match of the night, and possibly the match of the week, and everything else that went on in the show paled in comparison.

2. Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico

Since Gabriel’s return he’s decided to make me like him more than I did before. I never disliked Gabriel, but I was not a fan of the 450 and that seemed to be what they were pushing Gabriel for. He’s returned and seemed to have picked up speed and been trying a few different moves that fit into a style he’s comfortable with. Against Hunico, who people forget is a damn good wrestler that was drowned in what has been brushed off as a stereotype character and never taken seriously for that reason. This match proves their timing, and control when they both miss the commentator’s table and Matt Striker has to stand up to check on them. As of today, this is match of the week for me.

1. Scott Stanford (with special nod to Matt Striker)

We all know I think Scott is the best commentator on this planet, but Striker does need some appreciation as well, especially during this episode. He seemed to remember how good he really is and while he may have only commentated one match, he proved again why he was a great commentator who deserved to still be doing PPVs, not Superstars only. Scott continues to prove he should be doing more. He explains why he knows what he knows about the superstars which is simply, he goes up and asks them. He finds out what makes them tick and why they are in the ring. What happened backstage, what is happening in their careers, and what he should know about their pasts that make them a contender. For twenty minutes of onscreen time the man does his homework, takes his notes, and helps bring the entertainment home.

Scott Stanford’s Best Lines of the Week

“Thanks for the answer by the way.”

“To make him feel good I might have to watch it once or twice.” – About Ryder’s new DVD

“Into your living room with that Broski Boot!”

“If your hair is nappy, nobody is going to be happy.”

“That slap just reverberated throughout the arena.”

“But if they can back it up, is it cocky or confidence?”

“They shout out millions of dollars, I just shout out couple of bucks.”

 

Orbiting the WWE Universe #4 – Superstars

Wanda comes back to give us her insight on another WWE show. She’s starting to get more into the groove! How does it affect her perception of the WWE Universe? 

It was time to cleanse my RAW mind of Punk, Big Show and even my favorite, Sheamus, so a stop from Orbiting the WWE Universe at Superstars was long overdue. I needed to see some new talent and I had also heard from a very reputable source that there was to be a man with a golden voice and fabulous fashion sense appearing on this weeks show. So, read on to hear what I thought of my latest WWE stop.

Hunico vs Yoshi Tatsu

Well the disappointing thing is I missed the opening and therefore Tatsu’s entrance. But, I’m thinking it went something like this….
What side is that streak of red hair, left or is it right? Did my hairdresser make sure the color matched my fire engine red tight pants? Should I have worn my hair loose and flowing or is it better tied up? Were the tassles on my arms the right accessory?
So lucky for me I got to see Hunico talkin, I don’t know what on his way to the ring. Sayin a lot of something but not really makin any sense. Ok, bad spellin ends here! Black tank top, black pants, black sunnies to protect his eyes from the glare of the stadium lights and what’s that, white trainers…oooh, now that’s what I call sexy. Best accessory has to be the bandana, or is it the beanie wearing eye candy on that bicycle next to him?

So Hunico still talking about the weather when Tatsu makes a move on him, “come to me Hunico and check out the package I have in my pants”. A fantastic leap from the ropes by Tatsu over Hunico’s head and then a full pelt body slam not once, or twice but three times.
I’m really enjoying Tatsu, not seen him before and he has some pretty inventive moves, just wish he would finish Hunico off.
Hunico climbs the ropes but takes so long to get up that Tatsu climbs up after him, wraps his legs around Hunico’s neck and back flips them both over slamming Hunico on the floor (picture those cartoon stars floating around his head now). But even that wasn’t enough to end the match. A few more swings, slams, slaps and smashes and finally Hunico brings out the nasty to finish Tatsu off.

Alex Riley vs Jinder Mahal

Wow could Josh Mathews look any less intelligent and you are not convincing me you are smart by using words greater than one syllable. And Scott Stanford, how do you keep your brain cells from being sucked out of your head by Mathews?
I’ve not seen Riley before, he is fit, but doesn’t stay still long enough for me to get a good look of his face. Just caught a glimpse of his face, yep, no doubt he sure is a pretty boy, I just hope he can wrestle.
Mahal, I’ve seen you before, turban, perspex turban holder, but wait what’s that you are wearing tonight, a coat made from your curtains. Things must be tough in the Mahal royalty if you are using your curtains. I do like your white boots though, very sixties and they are coming back into fashion so who knows, maybe curtain fabric coats will too.
I’ve just noticed that Riley has a great booty. Goodness, both wrestlers are wearing tight fitting budgie smugglers (ok, for you non Aussie’s, Google budgie smugglers to know what I’m talking about). But Riley is definitely filling his out much better and getting full value from them. Don’t be afraid to use color for your pants though Riley, although I do like the subtle tones of gold and green on them (an obvious acknowledgement to your newest Aussie fan, me!)
Cue next demonstration by Mathews that he is not as dumb as he seems, Scott was talking about Riley’s 5 tiers when Mathews said “um, thats only 4 you have described” to Scott…..well duh, Scott so knew that and was leaving the best till last “5, the women love this guy”. We sure do Scott, we absolutely do and I’m sure a few guys out there love Riley too.
I’ve just realized I’ve not mentioned anything about the actual match. Ok, here it goes, Mahal headlocks Riley (noooooo) but Riley gets out of it and with Mahal bouncing off the ropes, flings himself from the ropes and flies through the air ever so gracefully to kick Mahal down to the floor (yeahhhhhh).
Scott, please don’t suggest Mathews uses Google to look Mahal’s Bollywood girlfriends. Remember, he is not as worldly as you and probably doesn’t understand the term girlfriend let alone Google.
Ouch, gasp, absolute horror….Mahal has slammed Riley on the ropes and possibly damaged potential mini Riley’s from being made…I don’t like Mahal and no it’s not because of the curtain coat, he just has a look in his eyes. Maybe it’s determination or to put the fear in his opponents but the look is not nice. Riley comes back, smashes into Mahal (yay) but then Mahal unleashes the camel clutch on Riley and the match ends (boooo).
Well, that’s the end of my review as I need to console myself that Riley was not victorious…..ok, I have moved on now and am ready for the next match.

Intermission, RAW recap time with John Cena and People Power speedster, Mr John Laurinaitis. Ok, I know this Laurinaitis dude is GM of RAW and Smackdown but really, do we need too see so much of him. And if we have too, could he not have got himself a bigger gopher to ride on.
Best part of intermission, Cena saucing Cole, worst part seeing Cole shirtless and pant less. No one should have to see that, no one. Therapy needed now….

Broski Zack Ryder vs Jack Swagger

Ryder reminds me of an Aussie 80′s singer with his hairstyle, purple sunnies and fluorescent pants Woo Woo Woo (another reference to use Google and check out pic’s of the singer Brian Mannix and you might see what I am talking about, don’t forget to squint your eyes before looking). His smirk too is rather fetching, or maybe Ryder is trying to snarl. More practice needed in front of your mirror and don’t wear the sunnies.
Swagger is “Aquaman” in his outfit with a “I’ve pooped my pants” walk. On first glance he reminded me of a younger Regal, but no, not at all, Regal is so much more ummm, excuse me while I just go and cool down.
I’m not getting the circle prance that Swagger is doing around Ryder. He reminds me of a great white shark circling its next victim, but Swagger’s prance is more “look at me running, I’m just fabulous”.
I can hear the gasp now from Solace when Scott said he doesn’t like to take his shirt off. Don’t worry Solace, he won’t take his shirt off with Ryder as Ryder will only be jealous. And he has to be careful to not burn that delicate, luscious skin  of his.
Swagger is just knocking Ryder over like he is a bowling ball and Ryder the solitary pin.
Mathews please shut up. So what if Scott is friends with Ryder. So what if Scott knows more bigger words than you, can you please, please do us all a favor and forget that they are friends. One day, you will get a friend, but for now, just be pleased for Scott.
Ryder picks Swagger up with one arm and flung him to the floor. Goodness, it’s hard to believe just how strong Ryder is, Woo Woo Woo.
I’ve just worked out that Swagger reminds me of what I think Americans call a Jock, a football player from a school, where Ryder would be the boy who has his head shoved down the toilet by the Jock.
Finally, the Broski move is out but it’s not enough to finish Swagger off. Wow, Swagger is bleeding from the mouth, looks like that Broski move did some damage but not enough, as Swagger pins Ryder down for a final time to win.

Well, superstars was pretty good, no Diva’s thank goodness and three matches that were full of entertainment and special moves. Highlight of the show, has to be Alex Riley. Even though he lost this time around he will be back if only to satisfy the female WWE audience. Worst part of show that my ears were subjected to the whiny voice of Mathews. I don’t get how he is more popular than Scott Stanford or Regal. I know he is younger but really, without Scott on Superstars it wouldn’t be super no matter how many stars were in it.

I have enjoyed my short stop this time around. Thanks as always to the two people who I hold totally responsible for my interest in all things WWE, my long distance pals, Solace Winter and Shawn Decker.

Top 4 of Superstars 6/7/12

Three matches, all commentated by Josh Mathews, one with Matt Striker, two with Scott Stanford. I guess I should put “commentated” in quotes with the whole Mathews thing since he spent a lot of time staring in the blankness. Wow.

4. Yoshi Tatsu vs. Hunico

I know little kids like Yoshi, but it surprises me when he’s out there and wrestling how much the crowd gets behind him. This is another moment where Yoshi gets the cheers and Hunico gets the boos, but Yoshi’s are much louder and clearer. Everyone accuses WWE of piping in sound, but it’s rarely done on NXT or Superstars. Of course I think people want to go straight to “piped in sound” when they don’t want to believe someone they like or dislike is truly getting pops or boos. Anyway, Yoshi was over and the crowd loved him, but you knew this match was about Hunico, who is an incredible wrestler. Unfortunately they decided to saddle him with a stereotype gimmick, and we know what happens to those with a stereotype gimmick. Obscurity. No matter if they are incredible, or not-so-incredible.

3. Alex Riley vs. Jinder Mahal

Riley needs to stop with the grenades. Those aren’t “A-Bombs”. Other than that, though, Riley comes out and gets the crowd ready to scream his name. He’s one of those guys that the internet laughs at but a crowd goes wild for. He has the looks, he finally has the moves, and they put him up against Jinder Mahal. I complain constantly Mahal always wins with the Camel Clutch (as he does here as well) but to be honest Mahal has come along way since his over-push a year ago. And while Mahal always wins with a Camel Clutch he doesn’t gloat over his enemy as they have fallen and pose before going for it. Riley was down and Mahal went straight in to the submission. Sometimes there is no time for gloating.

2. Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger

Wow. SWAGGER WON!!! Swagger won, Swagger won, Swagger won! I literally jumped off of the couch and cheered. Swagger is an excellent wrestler and deserves to beat down someone for once. I honestly did not see his win coming. He was dominant through most of it, which usually means the face needs to superman up and take the win. I like Ryder, so this isn’t a dig on him, but Ryder gains nothing from the win over Swagger other than the loud cheers that accompany him already to the ring. Instead this match was able to show off the Swagger Skills which people blatantly ignore. Excellent match.

1. Scott Stanford

Revving up his engines and ready to go right out of the dock Scott puts on a cap of enthusiasm and embraces the matches in front of him. Managing to sound excited for every match up and like he’s never seen anything as incredible as this match in his life he makes you believe each of these men are stars worthy of the main event on Raw. Yes, he tells stories, like how Jinder Mahal had once dated Aishwarya Rai, one of these most famous Bollywood actresses who might be one of the most beautiful women in the world, but he adds to the character of the wrestler that does not get developed on screen in matches. He paints a picture of Mahal that no one else sees and you can now look at Mahal, or Swagger, or even Ryder with a new light. Scott may appear random at times but you come away with something that you didn’t have going in and you’ll remember it later.

Top 4 of Superstars 5/24/12

I’m going to get in so much trouble this week.

4. Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater

I like Ryder, I was a fan of his when I first saw him on ECW when he was still rocking the one pant leg on his attire. As he grew I enjoyed him more. Even as he became a walking-catch-phrase I enjoyed him. But as someone else pointed out, he’s the lowest rung guy to have entered the Five Moves of Doom territory which made this match have not only a predictable ending, but a predictable story. Slater takes it all like a champ and Scott does his best to commentate some livelihood into it, but even Ryder seems to be frustrated as he does his, “What?” when it’s only a 2 count and instead of looking a the ref, or Slater, or anyone else, he kind of stares at the tron. People are losing interest in Ryder, but I fear it might be because he’s lost interest himself.

3. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs. JTG and Michael McGillicutty

Again, a terribly predictable ending, but the storytelling and match choreography is not as predictable. Kofi does his, “Boom! Boom!” and JTG makes fun of it outside of the ring with McGillicutty laughing beside him. McGillicutty and JTG actually have great chemistry as a tag team and move like they have been working with each other for months as opposed to having had a one-off sometime months ago. McGillicutty does a baseball slide and a flip to Truth that left me impressed and JTG gets a chance to not just be a comedic act in the ring. R-Truth is great, he has fun, but Kofi is the same ol’ same ol’. Luckily, Scott’s commentary keeps the slow parts of the match lively.

2. Scott Stanford

Speaking of Scott. Yes, he’s number two this week, but in my heart you know he’s number one, but this week a match won out. Scott has great one-liners, as usual, and explains about his learning exactly what a “Honky Tonk Badonka donk” is as well as explaining that the reason Slater was eliminated first in the last battle royale is because no one wanted to take on Khali and that he was willing to do it, though in retrospect it might not have been the best idea. Scott lends his voice and storytelling to Superstars, as usual, and he awakens the two matches he sat in for. But one match stood out on its own…

1. Antonio Cesaro vs. Tyson Kidd

Yes, Cesaro won. Yes, it was predictable. Yes, I like Kidd more. BUT, and it’s a good one, this was an incredible match. Kidd can’t put on a bad match (when he’s not told to take the squash) and this time they are given the opportunity to use up their abilities on one another. Kidd makes Cesaro look good and Cesaro seems to either take things more seriously now that he’s been brought up, or his skill has grown in spades in just a few short weeks. Either way, this match shines out through the others. And Cesaro was accompanied by Aksana, which is always a plus.

And I’m blaming the fact that Scott didn’t wear a tie this week for the reason he is at number two.

Scott’s best lines of Superstars:

“The freshness of JTG with the ground and pound stylings of McGillicutty.”

“Truth working on getting Lil’ Jimmy a Championship belt.”

“JTG, he wouldn’t be a dinosaur, he would be a flynosaur.”

“That’s gotta do it! JTG to pick up the win here on Super- No!”

“Honky Tonk Badonka Donk.”

“You know, Flo Rida talks a bit game, I don’t know if he’d actually want to step into a WWE ring with Heath Slater.”

“So you don’t get Beyonce one night, you use Heath Slater.”

“You know what show I haven’t been on? Are You Serious with you and Road Dogg.”

“Broski Boot into your living room!”

 

Top 4 of Superstars 5/10/12

Thank you Capshuns for letting me steal your pic.

When I go to watch Superstars I usually think, “Well, I already know how the top 4 is going to go,” and I don’t stress, though there are weeks I have refrained from writing one for a lack of being able to come up with 4 things. I try not to be a Negative Nelly when it comes to blogging, it won’t really help you want to watch the show! Which is what I want you to do! This week I wondered how I was going to be able to stick all of the things into a top 4 since there were actually four matches… and Scott Stanford! We can not forget Scott Stanford.

First, let’s talk about match length. Lately I have taken to timing matches, the parts that are actually seen. So from bell to bell, not counting commercial breaks. This particular 50+ minute episode of show had 25 minutes and 54 seconds of wrestling. What the Hell? What happened to the other 25 minutes? Oh right, Raw recaps and commercials that are embedded into the file. Next week I might start timing how long the Raw recaps take. Four matches in 26 minutes? Of course this was better than the last 3 hour Raw, which had 31 minutes of wrestling, and definitely more than four matches.

Okay, now to shake off my negativity and get to the top 4!

4. Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

Alicia Fox isn’t always the best in-skill worker, but Natalya, like her boyfriend, tends to be the controlling interest in a match. Natalya also shines in her new outfit with the cape that never received as much love as it deserved! The women put on an entertaining match and Natalya gets better at the Sharpshooter every time I see her do it. These two also always seem to have fun when they are facing one another, even if they are supposed to hate each other.

3. Ezekiel Jackson vs. Drew McIntyre

I grew bored with Jackson awhile ago, like, shortly after he came back from his injury, so why does this match gets a higher spot? Well, Drew, of course. Drew’s new hairstyle probably helps this a bit, because without it being completely pulled back, and having the braids, he’s even yummier. I don’t know what they are doing with Drew, but he can still Future Shock a wrestler and make me cringe. Yeah, this match made it to three based on McIntyre. I admit it.

2. Santino Marella and Zack Ryder vs. Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins w/ Scott Stanford

Oh yeah, I’m completely cheating. Scott commentated my two favorite matches of this show and I will completely claim that it was because of him that these were my two favorite matches. Sure, Reks and Hawkins are great wrestlers that can take on any tag team, even if they are constantly losing, but Scott helps! Who else has that enthusiasm in the matches, besides possibly Regal? Ryder and Santino were destined to win this match, though, and if you have already seen Smackdown you understand why, but it’s fun in the meantime. Reks also sells taking the Cobra like no one else.

1. Hunico vs. Tyson Kidd w/ Scott Stanford

Kidd is likely the best wrestler in the WWE right now, which is why he gets showcased on shows like Superstars and NXT. He has the skill and it’s better to get the chance to watch him wrestle than to throw him on some show that will have him getting squashed all of the time. Hunico proved a long time ago as the second Sin Cara that he has the skill to match Kidd, though at a slower pace. The two of them take this match to levels that the other shows should be showcasing as main events, and thanks to Scott Stanford (who explains to us the cost of the bike that Camacho and Hunico take out to the ring) it’s commentated like a main event.

See, I managed to get Scott into one and two, and slip in all four of the matches that in some way were worthy of the show that bases itself on the wrestling of the talent.