The match that started off this show was Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater. While I have been enjoying Slater more and more every week I have seen this match too many times and knew how it was going to end. As punishment for Slater winning against Bateman on NXT he had to lose, to Gabriel, via 450 Splash. Gabriel needs a new finisher. I have seen this move too many times and it is one of those contrived moves that requires too much setting up. It no longer looks natural.
Okay, rant over, onto the list!
4. Yoshi Tatsu vs. Johnny Curtis
Yoshi comes out first, sans mask, and the commentators make a note about the lack of it. Then out comes Curtis, throwing the mask down to the ground. Striker notes, “Creepy, carnal, suggestive, Johnny Curtis.” The match was decent. It was not great, it was not awful. Curtis does not get enough wrestling time to polish his style and Tatsu seemed to have to slow down his moves for Curtis to keep up with the ring-work. Still a decent match that proves these are two men who are too blatantly ignored.
3. Primo and Epico vs. JTG and Michael McGillicutty
Is JTG wearing his pants backwards? Oh yes, yes he is. I do not know why they put JTG with Michael McGillicutty. This tag team seemed random for random’s sake. JTG should have come out with Tamina, but it seems they have forgotten those two were a couple. Tamina should introduce JTG to a new tag team partner because McGillicutty just did not fit. BUT Primo and Epico came out with Rosa. Rosa in slow-mo, even as a heterosexual woman, is something wondrous to behold. Great match with excellent commentary that sees Primo with the pin on JTG. I think WWE should stop pretending that McGillicutty is the man they still want to push and letting JTG get the pin. JTG is so fly…
2. Santino vs. Jack Swagger
Santino briskly walks around the ring before entering, readying himself for a possible second take-down of the United States Champion. Jack Swagger comes out accompanied by Vickie Guerrero, who for the second week in a row flirts with Scott Stanford!!!! ………….. Okay, I am back. Swagger, finally, looks dominant in the ring. He knocks Santino down, does push ups off of his back, and wins with the ankle lock. He freaking won with the ankle lock! This is a better way to treat a champ instead of having him falling ass-backwards into a title. It is what they did to him when he was a champ on Smackdown and he is better than that.
1. Scott Stanford
Yes! I can do the return of Scott Stanford at number one. This episode of Superstars was the best one in weeks (possibly months) and it pains me when I can not do a decent list. It makes me giddy when I can plaster Scott’s name all over it. He is the one that puts over all talent in the ring, he is the one who always has a quip about every person and a humorous take. Without taking things too seriously but while not drawing your attention away from the action in the ring, Scott Stanford continues to be the shining star on Superstars because he makes you care about the matches going on. His enthusiasm sells the matches more than the superstars in the match, and let me say on this episode these men put more effort into it.
Scott Stanford’s best lines this Superstars:
“By the way Josh, does JTG have his pants on backward?” “I think it’s just his belt.” “This guy is so cool he doesn’t even have to wear his pants forward!”
“Look at that slow-mo.”
“I tried that brisk walk once before I twisted my ankle. That was the end of that.”
“Say hello to my little friend! No!”
(Josh to Scott) “Vickie just came over and did some sort of cougar claw at you.” (Scott‘s response) “It’s complicated, it’s a little complicated right now, can’t really get into it.”
By now everyone knows that Raw had the largest drop off from the first to second hour in ratings in over four years. That’s huge. And it happened for a good reason. Raw was too carried away with its own momentum and storylines. After last week’s episode I had to wonder if the storyline was good, or bad. I ultimately went with good because I was not sure where it was going.
This week I still, even over twenty-four hours later, can not seem to conclude that what they did with it on Monday night was actually good. None of it really surprised me, besides JR’s firing.
But it’s Raw. There had to be some good to it, right?
And here’s the list I compiled of the good things, in order of appearance.
- CM Punk
I think most of CM Punk‘s lines speak for themselves:
“You want me to do commentary?” “I want you to do commentary.” “Can I wear your blazer?” “You can even wear my blazer.” “I’m in!”
“Don’t screw it up they say, how nice of the fans. Don’t screw it up.”
“I’m like Bob Uecker.”
“Who’s gonna win?”
Now we knew it could not last long. Punk alone on commentary is entertaining, but he needs someone to play up to. Of course everyone who follows me on twitter knows my dream team would be reuniting CM Punk and Scott Stanford. However, this really is just going to focus on what was good about Raw.
- Teaming up the four heels of Swagger, Rhodes, Christian, and Ziggler.
These four work well off of one another. If I could have my way, Vickie would be taking Cody Rhodes and Christian under her wing as well just so I can see more of all of them together. It also showed something very important: bullying still exists at ringside. The exact thing some of the wrestlers were protesting happened in the very first match back. The men behaved but it still was striking a point that was actually subtle.
- Cody Rhodes bagging Randy Orton.
Cody Rhodes interrupted the match between Mark Henry and Randy Orton, mostly because there was no way Henry was getting a third win over Randy Orton, cleanly. At least not at this point. When Cody Rhodes had one of his lackeys run and grab a bag I honestly had turned to my boyfriend and said, “There’s no way Rhodes bags him.” And was giddy when I was wrong. I’m a huge mark for Randy Orton and I was still cheering for Cody Rhodes and his Guccis! Cody decided to have a maniacal moment as he lost control of his laughter and the moment was exquisite.
- Rosa Mendes
She may not be the best wrestler of the diva division, but screw it, she’s the best looking. Also when Kelly Kelly had her in the corner and seemed to be trying to put her butt in Rosa’s face Rosa said no to that and pushed her away.
- The return of The Miz and R-Truth
Oh, we all knew they were coming back sooner or later. It was not even that shocking. However I love watching R-Truth and The Miz telling the audience, “You suck,” as they enter. R-Truth enunciates better as a rapper as a heel and with The Miz accompanying him the crowd can not help but boo. Especially as Michael Cole nearly jumps for joy as he sees his favorite tag team together again.
Now for what I might consider the bad part of Raw. Am I reading too much into the Morrison angle, or is this something the WWE is doing to toy with the fans because they know there is a lot of internet speculation? They’ve done it before. But Triple H did “re-sign” John Morrison. In turn John Morrison was one of the superstars to walk out on Triple H. Will Laurinaitis take that as a reason to fire Morrison? Rumors are that his contract are nearly up and they have lost interest in him. Since he returned he no longer seems to be the same Morrison that made ladies’ hearts throb.
I used to love John Morrison. The bedazzled pants, the fur jackets, the wavy salon style hair. Now he’s become Job Morrison and it’s a bit heartbreaking, if I could bring myself to be that invested. Internet rumors do not help my level of interest, but it will be interesting to see where it goes.
What was your favorite moment of Raw? What was your least?
Cole: “Way to go JR, I actually had some respect for ya.” JR: “Well that’s unnecessary.”