Last week I was losing faith in Superstars. This week it decided to renew it. That does not mean the show was less predictable because going in you knew who was going to win every match of the four, but the moves were more exciting, the commentary more interesting, and let’s face it, not having to see Triple H attacked again was dazzling. But, this is about the four best things of Superstars, so let us recap those:
4. The Bella Twins
Slinking their way down in the ring in sensual catsuits that make a man drool, The Bella Twins outshine their opponents in everything from appearance to style. The Bella Twins have stopped trying to be their own version of LayCool and decided to take a different approach. Sexing it up they turn it around in personality by being as childish as possible when facing Kelly Kelly and Eve. They put their finger and thumb up and out to make “L’s” at the girls, they give childish taunts of, “Nyah, nyah,” and one of the Bella’s covers her ears when Eve is screaming. It is a perfect position for these women. They seem to have found what they are comfortable with and instead of trying to come up with some over the top insults that fall flat the second or third time around they just go with the first thing that pops into their heads.
3. Air Boom vs. JTG and Primo
I asked two guys the other day when I started becoming such a JTG fan. They told me it was likely because I was watching him against Percy Watson and Titus O’Neil. After watching this match I’m convinced I’ve just become a JTG fan over time. Air Boom and JTG and Primo work fluidly together. Kofi flies high but seems to keep himself a little more in control of his moves while Evan does what he does best. But Primo and JTG both show that they can keep up with the fast-paced, high flying men in this match. Haven’t seen much of Primo lately? You know you miss him.
2. Cody Rhodes vs. Ted Dibiase
First off, stop whining that Cody Rhodes is on Superstars. Cody Rhodes is given a chance to get a win after he’s been fighting and losing recently. He does not even need it as it seems an entire regime is behind the man. Cody Rhodes is the opening match of Superstars and looks incredible. It’s not really a drop when he was featured on the pay-per-view just on Sunday. It’s an opportunity for this man to do moves that had me rewinding to watch it again. Dibiase works well with him and between the two they put on more than a decent match. We knew Cody would win, and still it was an amazing victory.
“Cody’s back might be disfigured!” – Korpela
“I’m just a loser who likes to conjugate verbs.” – Striker
1. Scott Stanford (and Josh Mathews)
I tend to put Scott Stanford at number one for good reason. He’s the best. The. Best. Don’t argue, you know it’s true. A few weeks ago though I complained that Josh Mathews did not seem to want to play along with Scott’s hilarity. In the weeks since Mathews has proven that he can keep up with Scott. His snorts of derision, his vocal hurts when a man is taken down, and his general attitude have seemed to have a facelift that is giving these two a run for best commentary team. And I could not be more glad of it. The two of them tell a story with every person who enters the ring and draw you in. I’m glad to see these two working together, and almost seemingly against Striker and Korpela. Now that could be an interesting commentary rivalry, if just because these four can do things with their barbed words without needing to embarrass themselves in the ring.
Scott has energy he was lacking in last week’s main event through their entire portion. The man can make exciting matches solid gold with his words and he sells two matches that people would not think they would want to watch as if they were main events on Raw. Yet better.
Scott Stanford’s best lines of the night:
“Welcome to the Raw portion of the program, that means the better looking duo.”
“This guy, JTG, is so fresh he sleeps in a ziplock bag.”
“JTG is so cool I understand that called him to play Fonzy in the remake of Happy Days.” Josh: “That is completely untrue.”
“I’m corny to say the least, going way back to Happy Days.”
“All I have to say is Holy catsuits, Batman!”
“How many people do you know that could come out in catsuits like that?” Josh: “Two.” Scott: “Nikki and Brie?” Josh: “Yup.” Scott: “I thought you were going to say Jack and Matt Striker but-” Josh: “They are the furthest thing from my mind as we prepare for this Diva Main Event.”
“The Bella Twins, let’s just call them the Sisters of Seduction.”
“Kelly, Rikishi style!”
By now everyone knows that Raw had the largest drop off from the first to second hour in ratings in over four years. That’s huge. And it happened for a good reason. Raw was too carried away with its own momentum and storylines. After last week’s episode I had to wonder if the storyline was good, or bad. I ultimately went with good because I was not sure where it was going.
This week I still, even over twenty-four hours later, can not seem to conclude that what they did with it on Monday night was actually good. None of it really surprised me, besides JR’s firing.
But it’s Raw. There had to be some good to it, right?
And here’s the list I compiled of the good things, in order of appearance.
- CM Punk
I think most of CM Punk‘s lines speak for themselves:
“You want me to do commentary?” “I want you to do commentary.” “Can I wear your blazer?” “You can even wear my blazer.” “I’m in!”
“Don’t screw it up they say, how nice of the fans. Don’t screw it up.”
“I’m like Bob Uecker.”
“Who’s gonna win?”
Now we knew it could not last long. Punk alone on commentary is entertaining, but he needs someone to play up to. Of course everyone who follows me on twitter knows my dream team would be reuniting CM Punk and Scott Stanford. However, this really is just going to focus on what was good about Raw.
- Teaming up the four heels of Swagger, Rhodes, Christian, and Ziggler.
These four work well off of one another. If I could have my way, Vickie would be taking Cody Rhodes and Christian under her wing as well just so I can see more of all of them together. It also showed something very important: bullying still exists at ringside. The exact thing some of the wrestlers were protesting happened in the very first match back. The men behaved but it still was striking a point that was actually subtle.
- Cody Rhodes bagging Randy Orton.
Cody Rhodes interrupted the match between Mark Henry and Randy Orton, mostly because there was no way Henry was getting a third win over Randy Orton, cleanly. At least not at this point. When Cody Rhodes had one of his lackeys run and grab a bag I honestly had turned to my boyfriend and said, “There’s no way Rhodes bags him.” And was giddy when I was wrong. I’m a huge mark for Randy Orton and I was still cheering for Cody Rhodes and his Guccis! Cody decided to have a maniacal moment as he lost control of his laughter and the moment was exquisite.
- Rosa Mendes
She may not be the best wrestler of the diva division, but screw it, she’s the best looking. Also when Kelly Kelly had her in the corner and seemed to be trying to put her butt in Rosa’s face Rosa said no to that and pushed her away.
- The return of The Miz and R-Truth
Oh, we all knew they were coming back sooner or later. It was not even that shocking. However I love watching R-Truth and The Miz telling the audience, “You suck,” as they enter. R-Truth enunciates better as a rapper as a heel and with The Miz accompanying him the crowd can not help but boo. Especially as Michael Cole nearly jumps for joy as he sees his favorite tag team together again.
Now for what I might consider the bad part of Raw. Am I reading too much into the Morrison angle, or is this something the WWE is doing to toy with the fans because they know there is a lot of internet speculation? They’ve done it before. But Triple H did “re-sign” John Morrison. In turn John Morrison was one of the superstars to walk out on Triple H. Will Laurinaitis take that as a reason to fire Morrison? Rumors are that his contract are nearly up and they have lost interest in him. Since he returned he no longer seems to be the same Morrison that made ladies’ hearts throb.
I used to love John Morrison. The bedazzled pants, the fur jackets, the wavy salon style hair. Now he’s become Job Morrison and it’s a bit heartbreaking, if I could bring myself to be that invested. Internet rumors do not help my level of interest, but it will be interesting to see where it goes.
What was your favorite moment of Raw? What was your least?
Cole: “Way to go JR, I actually had some respect for ya.” JR: “Well that’s unnecessary.”
Since I’ve been talking about predictability in the WWE, @TheSupremeForce, @yawsrko and I decided to test our guessing skills.
Christian vs. Sheamus
They do not seem to want to bury Christian entirely and yet they do not want to give him a shot. Sheamus is a powerhouse that is hard to contend with on any level, and did just come off a loss with Cody. Winner: Sheamus
I don’t think it’s going to be clean, which makes it tougher. It’s either going to be Sheamus wins via count out or Christian wins via… cheating. Winner: Sheamus
It’s a Sheamus Thing. Lobsterhead. Christian’s annoying and could wind up dead. OHHH. These words are true. I’ll make you believe…actually I think it’s bc Xtian’s not really in the WHC picture and Facemus needs the win more. Winner: Fa- er, Sheamus
Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara
Sin Cara and his new black mask versus Sin Cara of the old Blue Mask. I’m looking forward to this, and going to be rooting for the black masked Sin Cara, but ultimately it will be the blue masked Sin Cara that wins. If anything, there will be epic finger pointing. Winner: Sin Cara of the blue mask.
I’m going to pick the blue mask Sin Cara. Not because I think he should win but because looking through the card there is a lot of potential for heels to win and this is the one match where the face winning will make sense. Winner: Blue Mask Sin Cara
Let me adjust my lighting for my next prediction. Let me use my best Hogan voice for this prediction for the Mano y Mano match. BOTCHAMANIA RUNNIN WILD BROTHER..and I choose Blue Sin Cara. I choose blue because he’s the good guy and if he gets suspended for drugs again, they can just put the old outfit on the other guy. Winner: Blue Sin Cara
Winner: Sin Cara Azul – as Michael Cole called him
Since the tag match was a “surprise” there were no official predictions for this. However before the match began all three called that it would be Air Boom as the winners over Swagger and Ziggler.
Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton
Mark Henry won at the last one. Cleanly. Their best bet would be keeping the title on him, even if Randy had to lose by disqualification. But since Randy Orton is almost in John Cena country when it comes to needing to be feuding for the title, my prediction is: Winner: Randy Orton.
Mark Henry keeps the title. I don’t know if I see him winning cleanly again, but I see him keeping the title. Winner: Mark Henry
Somebody gonna get his scruff squished, ’cause somebody else got this Monster gimmick. Henry crushed Kane, Big Show..if RKO destroys him….now, then it’ll hurt both of them. Henry bc SuperOrton will have ended the run, and Orton because he’d be little more than Cena Jr. Winner: Mark Henry
Winner: Mark Henry
Impromptu Cody Rhodes versus Job, er, John Morrison. Again, not one on the official predictions but all three of us guessed Cody before the match finished.
Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix
I want Beth Phoenix to win. I want Beth Phoenix to win. No more roll ups from an inferior wrestler, please! Winner: Clinging to the hope of Beth Phoenix
Beth’s gotta win this one. If she doesn’t it ruins any credibility the angle had. Winner: Beth Phoenix
Has to be Beth. HAS to be. There’s only so much Kelly everybody can take. Just ask CM Punk…But seriously. Kelly looking strong has only made Beth look weaker. One more loss would make the Divas of Doom look like Doofus Divas. Winner: Beth Phoenix
Winner: Beth Phoenix. She had better win after all of that screaming. My head feels like it’s about to split.
John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio
CM Punk is not getting the title back right now. He actually has an angle going on that doesn’t even need to revolve around him having the title. It’s almost foolish to have him with the title. The fight is really John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio and Del Rio deserves to have the title. But it’s Hell in a Cell. Winner: John Cena retains the title
The tour where they go to Mexico is coming up soon. They have built Del Rio up as a solid contender for the title. Winner: Alberto Del Rio
I’m guessing that the whole car rental thing for Del Rrrrrrrrrio might be finding its way to a budget cut. So he can’t win. While my gut is screaming Cena, and the summer (and Summer of Punk, apparently) is over…let me take Punk. To be, like, rebellious and shit. Or something. Winner: CM Punk
Winner: Alberto Del Rio!!
And then enters The Miz and R-Truth and laid waste to everyone, even the camera guy. However, as Joey Image pointed out on my timeline, “Not one of these guys thought to grab the bolt cutters?” True, but would that have been as fun? Just like R-Truth and The Miz allowing themselves to be arrested so that the wrestlers could not jump them on their way out. Triple H jumps them anyway, though honestly the police would have arrested him as well for assaulting someone already under arrest.
Breakdown for predictions:
TheSupremeForce at 100%
Yawsrko at 85%
Solace at 71%
The two I was wrong on actually made me happy to be wrong. I’m still, and likely always will be, a huge Randy Orton fan but he does not need the title to be popular. I ended up finding that pay-per-view far more interesting than I was assuming it would be going in. Well put together matches and Cole, JR, and Booker worked well off of one another. Cole was a bit more understated, Booker got in his few good lines, and JR stuck to what he does best which is blending with the other voices. Storylines weren’t really furthered to be honest except for the two Sin Caras.