It’s that time again! Time for the predictions! Most of you already know how these work, so I’m not going to spend a lot of time going over it. This PPV the winner gets an entrance theme composed and performed by @THECHRISPARROT so I expect you guys to try extra hard! Winner also gets the coveted JPEG title:
This month, since he was champion last month, tolkienite is exempt from tie-breakers.
Remember guys, put Winner: Name at the END OF YOUR PREDICTIONS. I love you all, but it’s a lot of work trying to rearrange half the predictions because you don’t put it at the end, like I ask, every time.
You have until 11:59 May 19th, 2012 to get me the predictions. If I don’t hear from you, your name is dropped, if you can’t make it, please just drop me a note saying not this month!
Predictions can be left in the comments, emailed to me, or sent to me via dms on twitter. Please refrain from swearing as there are a few kids who join the predictions and I don’t want to be the source of bad influences!
Predictions should look like this:
I believe Ryder is going to win because he deserves to win. Winner: Zack Ryder
Winner: Zack Ryder
If you can’t come up with reasonings and just want to guess, that is fine!
Zack Ryder vs. Kane
CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship
Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio
Tie-breaker 1: Who pins who in the Fatal Fourway
Layla vs. Beth Phoenix for the Divas Championship
Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger for the Tag Team Championship
Tie-breaker 2: Who pins who in the tag match
John Cena vs. John Laurinaitis
This week’s FCW was all about the matches. There were three promos, but they were relatively short, and one of them (Husky’s) was a re-run of last week’s. Mercer’s was interesting, and the way he had him made-up and with the gray-scale he appeared like a less tattooed Orton, though in pictures I’ve never been able to make the comparison. The third promo slides in because it was the after effect of a match.
4. 6 Man Tag Match
Now that Xavier Woods has gained control of his hair, he seems to have gained control of his talent as well. Or maybe he just decided to stop giving those, “Good job, good job,” promos. I don’t know. He didn’t annoy me this week. He teamed up with Jason Jordan and CJ Parker, all guys whom I like. But, and it’s a big one, they went up against “Beefy” Brad Maddox, Jake Carter, and Corey Graves. Oooh, this is the team I am rooting for, even if they appear to be managed by Abraham Washington, who only seems to be good at being loud.
3. Jiro vs. Big E Langston
In this match, Regal notes that he would like to see Mark Henry take Lagston under his wing and be his mentor. I would love to see this. As I have never heard Langston speak, only seen him in the ring, it would be nice to see what else Henry could teach him. And really, once Henry was finally given the opportunity that he was meant for, he was incredible. It would be nice to see him pass that one to Langston. Jiro was destined to lose this match from the onset, but Jiro does a great showing against the big man that holds up. Another great thing about Langston as the big man is that because he moves well it’s almost believable when someone takes him down, unlike say Big Show or Mark Henry. These men stand in place and do not need to or try to move much, making it hard to take them down. Langston in motion would be easier to take down for that reason.
2. Benicio Salazar vs. Kassius Ohno
My comparison of Ohno is not to other men in the WWE, but to Cesaro alone. Ohno and Cesaro, in case you live under a rock, used to be tag partners under other names under another company. Cesaro has now been passed through and is on Smackdown. I was never a big fan of Cesaro. When Ohno finally debuted my thought was, “Okay, is he like Cesaro?” and no, he’s not. He’s better, in every way. This match was also the tv debut of Benicio Salazar, a masked luchador. He was fascinating. Together they put on quite a great match, but no one really compares to…
1. Dean Ambrose vs. James Bronson
Bronson is great in the ring. Though I may have had no clue what they were actually doing with the whole psychiatry thing, in the ring he’s stellar. Then they put him against Ambrose and Ambrose still managed to steal the show. This match, while excellently conducted, is about the ending. Ambrose gets Bronson in a Regal Stretch and William Regal gets up and walks about as Ambrose is applying the finisher. The look on Ambrose’s face is enough reason to watch as you see some of the best acting in sports entertainment. After he wins he goes backstage and flips out on the camera, mentioning that Regal has broken his heart and is just like everybody else. Epic.
FCW comes back and it could not have been a moment too soon. Two weeks without it, and having missed the part where Rollins won the championship from Kruger, yeah, I’m miffed! But it was back!
4. Regal and JR on commentary
I’ve often complained about Chris Russo on commentary, so when he leaves the booth so that during the 15 minute championship (which took 20 minutes on this particular night) JR can take over, I’m positively ecstatic. JR is not my favorite commentator, though he’s not bad by any stretch of the imagination, and when given an option of so many others, I would choose him before most. Working in tandem with Regal just made this a winning pair. The downside to the commentating here, JR kept pronouncing it “Cesar” and not “Cesaro” until Regal oh-so-subtly corrected him.
3. Seth Rollins Promo
First, since the last two weeks were missing, this was an excellent chance for those who do not read up on spoilers on a regular basis to learn that Seth Rollins is the new champion! The audience also learned he has a high ankle sprain. The championship is starting to seem like a curse. Gain the title, and an injury. This promo, though, seems to prove Rollins is here to stay.
2. Antonio Cesaro vs. Richie Steamboat
I haven’t really been impressed with Cesaro despite improvements every week. The improvements were slow and it does not help when a million people are talking to you about how incredible someone is. Hype often can ruin someone for you. Tonight Cesaro refreshed my feelings on him and turned me into a believer! Steamboat paled in comparison, which is sad because I keep wanting Steamboat to succeed. However this was Cesaro’s time to shine and everything that he lacked before went up a few notches. Did not keep him from still not quite getting that title. This time.
1. Kenneth Cameron vs. Byron Saxton
I admit my biased towards Ascension willingly. After Scott Stanford, Derrick Bateman, and Tyler Reks, Ascension might be the next great thing for me. (I have weird taste) This match was cut short and I should be pouting about it because it never really was a full match, but Conor O’Brian returns and when the lights go out Cameron and O’Brian pull Saxton out and the match is no contest. Is Saxton going to become a part of Ascension? PLEASE?!
Wrestlemania is so jammed pack full of gimmick matches that have little to do with storylines people care about that they left out a glaring error, because they forgot they were supposed to be pushing tag matches again. Epico and Primo hold the tag team titles but who remembers that? It’s not the men’s fault but sadly misused booking. Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins have been used better and they are on NXT.
Speaking of Reks and Hawkins… Oh yes, you knew I would go there.
Solace’s Dream Missing Match
Before the start of the show Reks and Hawkins are up to their usual antics of being bullies and utterly cool while doing so. When they run into Epico and Primo they make fun of them for not having a match even though they are tag champs and for having to be managed by a woman whose only talent is dancing. This is where Regal does his thing and comes in to announce that since there was some time to fill on the card and people want to see their tag team champs he is going to make an impromptu tag match. However, if Reks and Hawkins lose they get to clean the entire arena once everyone leaves with a pro showing them how it’s done. Reks and Hawkins agree on the condition that Regal will do the sweeping instead if they win. Regal agrees because he believes there is no chance that Reks and Hawkins can win.
Epico and Primo put on a great show, and even get a little help from their former stable-buddy Hunico, but they just can’t hold up to Reks and Hawkins. Reks and Hawkins ultimately win the tag titles from Epico and Primo. No, not because I prefer Reks and Hawkins, but because Reks and Hawkins have done more to show what tag teams should be like in the last six months than anyone else has. These men should be the two going around and crushing any and all other tag teams, while helping to build groups who want to take them down.
After the show Reks and Hawkins hand Regal his broom and wish him luck on cleaning. Oh, and they found his pro, the ever handsome Scott Stanford, who is the lone man cleaning the arena corridors. As soon as Reks and Hawkins leave, and Scott starts saying how happy he is to work with Regal and how he could use the help, Regal instantly starts making excuses. His twins need him. His wife found out about Maxine. Etc. Leaving poor Scott to sweep on his own and Regal calculating a better revenge on Reks and Hawkins.
Of course I found a way to incorporate Scott into this. What were you expecting?